Traditional Weddings and Bride Kidnapping: A Contested Practice(Video)
In some communities, traditional marriage takes a form that includes an ancient but controversial practice: bride kidnapping. Often referred to as “marriage by kidnapping”, this custom involves the bride being forcibly removed from her home, sometimes with the consent of her family and other times against her will. Although this tradition varies depending on regions and cultures, it raises important debates around women’s rights, the legitimacy of ancient traditions, and the evolution of social norms.
Bride kidnapping has its origins in ancient contexts where families played a central role in partner selection and negotiation of the matrimonial alliance. In these contexts, kidnapping often symbolized the man’s unwavering commitment to the woman, but also the union of two families. Sometimes, it even allowed certain dowry costs or expensive marriage rites to be avoided. In several regions of Central Asia, in Africa and in certain societies in Eastern Europe, this marriage by kidnapping was supposed to mark the determination of the suitor and to strengthen the bond between families in the event of reluctance on the part of one of the parties.
How this kidnapping is practiced varies greatly. In some cases, it is a “symbolic” kidnapping where the young bride, although taken from her home, participates willingly in the ceremony. The family is often aware and approves of the union, which gives a festive and traditional dimension to the event. However, in other situations, the bride has no choice, and the kidnapping becomes a coercive act where she is taken without her consent, sometimes with traumatic consequences.
Family involvement is often a key factor. If some families see this practice as a cultural formality, others consider it as a means of pressure, and in certain situations, they collaborate in the kidnapping. This aspect raises important questions around individual freedom and social pressures.
Today, in a world where individual freedom is increasingly valued, marriages by kidnapping attract strong criticism. In some countries, this practice is officially prohibited, considered kidnapping or forced marriage. However, the enforcement of these prohibitions is often complex. For example, in some rural or remote contexts, local authorities still tolerate these practices out of respect for tradition or fear of creating tensions with local communities.
From a social point of view, marriage by kidnapping has profound consequences, particularly for the woman. In cases where the kidnapping is done against the will of the young girl, this can lead to a feeling of devaluation, loss of identity and lasting psychological impacts. The young bride may also be forced to cut ties with her family and adapt to an unwanted married life.
With globalization, access to media and the expansion of education, more and more young people are questioning this tradition and the influence it exerts on their personal choices. Many awareness campaigns, often led by NGOs and women’s rights groups, attempt to reduce the number of marriages by kidnapping by promoting the right to autonomy and freedom of choice. In certain regions, the communities themselves are mobilizing to abandon this custom or to adapt it to less coercive forms.
Current generations, particularly in urban areas, tend to value values like equality and consent in marriage, while young women seek to escape traditions they find oppressive. In addition, laws are being strengthened in several countries to criminalize any form of forced marriage or kidnapping.
The evolution of modern societies shows us that the preservation of traditions must not be to the detriment of the fundamental rights of individuals. Communities that practice marriage by kidnapping are today faced with a choice: maintain this custom without constraint or reinvent it to eliminate its coercive aspects. Traditional marriage ceremonies can exist within a framework that respects mutual consent and human dignity.
Ultimately, a marriage is above all a union between two people and should be based on love, respect and free choice. Efforts to preserve culture and traditions must be accompanied by reflection on the well-being of individuals, particularly young women, and on the values that can guarantee a more just and balanced society.